Soccer Tees, Pluto, and Harris Tottle

There is a fascinating book available titled “”Non Campus Mentis” which is a collection of excerpts and quotes from the various tests and papers of students.  It is always fascinating to look at history through the eyes of the students which is what the author has done and when you read what he has gleaned you don’t know whether to laugh or cry.  The teacher’s present the materials but then something seems to be lost in the translation from mouth to ear because the students don’t seem to hear precisely what is being said or hear it and then don’t have a clue as to what it means, how to spell it, or even how it applies to anything.  So here is a summary of World History which I have compiled based on the responses taken from this treasure trove of school tests and papers[1].  The spellings have been left intact and I leave it to your discerning eye to distinguish between what is written by me and by the students and for this reason I have elected to not use distinguishing quotation marks.

Let us begin with ancient Egypt which has always been a challenge because counter to all logic on a map the Nile runs up (North) rather than down which has always caused consternation for the observer who views Egypt on a map, because as we all know,  there was Upper Egypt and Lower Egypt.   Lower Egypt is actually farther up than Upper Egypt which was – of course – lower down than the upper part.  This is why we learn geography as a factor in history.  Egypt was certainly an interesting and powerful civilization.  The rulers of Egypt were entitled as Faroes with one of the most famous being King Toot.  Of course one of the most famous things in Egypt is the pyramids.  The pyramids were large square triangles built in the desert.  O’Cyrus was a god who lived in a piramid and would give you the afterlife if your sole was on straight.  The Egyptian upper class was able to live posthumously through the arts and facts buried with them. 

And this brings us to that other great civilization – the Sumerian also known as the Mesopotamian which existed in a valley near the Eucaliptus river where flooding was erotic.  Babylon was similar to Egypt because of their differences they had apart from each other.  Egypt for example only had Egyptians but Babylon had Summarians, Acadians, and Canadians, to just name a few.  The Babylonians honored their gods by building pyramids in the shape of zeplins.  Mesopotamia was dominated at various times by the Medes, Persians, and Assyrians.  The Assyrian program of exterminating various ethnic groups failed to promote cultural diversity.  And so closes our tour through the truly ancient cultures and brings us to the Mediterranean and the Classical Age.

Athens, Sparta, and Pluto were Greek city states.  Some were Oglearchies but Athens was a democracy resulting from the reforms of Colon and Percales.  Sparta demanded loyalty, military service, and obscurity from its citizens.  King Xerox of Persia invaded Greace but fell off short at the Battle of Thermosalami.  Religion was polyphonic and featured such gods as Herod, Mars, and Juice.  Thucydides was a noted historian who collected facts objectively and saw himself as responsible only to Clio, the Greek Mouse of History.  Eventually the Greeks were conquered by Phillip of Mastodon who was later killed in a family sprawl.  He was succeeded by Alexander the Great who conquered Persia, Egypt, and Japan.  Sadly he died with no hairs.

The Greeks were important and laid the foundation for western civilization.  They were important at culture and science.  The scientific method came into use when the Greeks learned never to take things for granite when solving a problem.  The Atomists discovered E=MC^2 and other mathematical things.  U Clid proved that there is more than one side to every plane and Pythagasaurus fathered the triangle, while Archimedes made the first steamboat and power drill.  But perhaps the greatest gifts of the Greeks were in the form of philosophy.  The pre-Socratics lived long before Plato and were not decisively influenced by his work.  Perhaps the greatest philosopher was Socrates who was accused of Sophomorism and sentenced to die of hemroyds.  His student Plato invented reality and was teacher to Harris Tottle, author of the Republicans.  Other philosophies included the Epicureans for them lust was a must.  Others were the Vegetarians and the Synthetics who said “if you can’t play with it, why bother”. 

The Greeks were eventually replaced by the great Roman Empire which was founded sometime by Uncle Remus and Wolf.  The Roman upperclassmen demanded to be known as Patricia.  Senators wore purple tubas as a sign of respect.  Around the 120’s B.C the Gretzky brothers failed to stop these and other injustices.  But the Republic carried on and struggled with the other great Mediterranean power – Carthage. Hannabelle crossed the Alps with a herd of eliphants and thus invaded Africa.  After they defeated Carthage the Romans brutaly salted the people and razored the city.  Scipio was called “Africanus” because he served in Spain.  The Republic prospered but eventually it came to be dominated by Julius Caesar who was famous for inspiring his men by saying “I came I saw I went”.  Caesar was assassinated on the Yikes of March and is reported to have said “Me Too Brutus”. 

Following the assassination of Caesar Rome was subjected to many turnoilic events, oncluding Anthony’s elusive affair with Cleopatra.  The shrewd Octavian grabbed hold of the Empire and he kept the people happy by giving them breaded circuses.  Augustus (aka Octagenarian) founded the Roman Catholic Empire and punished those involved in sibilancy and adultery.  The symbol of his authority was the Cross.  He put it everywhere.  Augustus did have to leave the Empire due to his death. 

There are many theories about the fall of the Roman Empire and many were totally not possible and some of them were.  This included more than enough religion, too much slavery, not enough water, and smoking from lead pipes.  Then the Empire was swept with a tidal wave of Goths, Hungs, Zulu’s and others who impacted Rome.  Athena the Hun rampaged the Balkans as far as France, where he plumaged and tortured people of the villages he captured. Thus ended the Roman Empire and Western Civilization entered the Dark Ages where it was mostly dark.

Certainly history is a lot more interesting when you have it explained through the eyes of the students.  Soccer Tees, Pluto, and Harris Tottle – I salute you.

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[1] Henriksson, Non Campus Mentis, Workman Publishing, New York

Good Versus Evil

Our society is tolerant.  It is multi-cultural.  It is accepting of virtually anything and everything even to the point of only lightly punishing criminal behavior.  However, it is becoming increasingly apparent that what our society does not tolerate or accept is God.  Satan is not acknowledged as a force and evil as a practice, or even as a concept, is fading out of our collective consciousness.  Our society seems to be in a decline with greater violence, poverty, sickness, and disasters occurring without anyone seeming to see any connection to either Satan or God, maybe it is time for a review.

Perhaps the best place to begin our review is with the Ten Commandments. The first Commandment is “I am the Lord, thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me” so this seems like a good place to start with the question “do we have other gods?”  Many people might disagree and claim that we have no other gods because God is simply a myth created by man.  In fact modern science has gone to great lengths to prove that God doesn’t exist.  Without any empirical evidence modern science has embraced the belief that a random and accidental event initiated life.  In fact the creation of the universe is viewed as a scientific event as yet unexplained but believed to be eventually explainable by science.  In effect modern science like all religions is faith based but has replaced God with Man in the form of scientists. Modern science requires the same level of faith as any religion does. 

Our society in general has increasingly embraced atheism as the atheists drive God out of any public display or acknowledgement that He exists.  The atheist sees his existence and the circumstances of that existence as random chance.  The atheist has no purpose in life and is not constrained by any moral boundary other than one that is self imposed or culturally imposed.  To the atheist there is no such thing as a soul or an after life and it is delusional to think otherwise.  Therefore, when the atheist attempts to suppress or repudiate God, he thinks he is acting in the best interest of society, but others might think he is merely whistling past the graveyard.

The real irony of the atheist position of course is that it has no basis in fact and rests exclusively on his belief that God’s existence cannot be proven.  The irony is that he cannot prove God doesn’t exist.  So the argument is left unresolved and a matter of faith.  But what of Satan – can his existence be proven or demonstrated?  When God created man he created him in His image and gave him free will—meaning Man was given the right to choose.  Satan takes advantage of that right and tempts Man into making the wrong choice.  This is why the fundamentalist Muslims call America “The Great Satan”, because America is filled with temptations, provide in their eyes, by Satan.  Of course this doesn’t prove Satan exists but if Satan is evil personified then it should be clear, even to the most ardent atheist, that our society is increasingly corrupt.  America is a place where free choice reigns supreme where everyone is tempted every day to commit some sin or violation of the Ten Commandments, which of course is Satan’s objective.

But the relevant question is” is our tolerant and multi-cultural society becoming more or less evil?”  Of course the arguments about the answer to this question could go on endlessly because our society has become so complicated, but perhaps we could narrow the discussion to the Ten Commandments.  These are part of Judaism, Islam, and Christianity so perhaps they allow us to address the question more easily.  For example “Honor the Sabbath” is a commandment and at one time businesses were closed on the Sabbath which varies among religions but is that true today?  Certainly some businesses remain closed on their Sabbath but I submit our society at large does not honor the Sabbath. 

What about the Commandment against adultery?  Statistics show that marriage as an institution is in decline while living together is growing.  At one time living together was even called “living in sin” and viewed as fornication but it is no longer viewed as a sin but simply accepted as an alternative way of life.  Beyond that divorce is also growing with about half of all marriages ending in divorce.  The part of the marriage vow where you are joined by God has declined into mere words without meaning.  Ministers and other men of God blithely continue marrying divorced people even though they have violated the marriage vow already.  So adultery is growing in our society and is no longer condemned either morally or legally. 

What about taking the Lord’s name in vain, is this commandment being honored today?  Anyone who has been to a movie recently knows that they increasingly border on pornography with language that is embarrassing and one time would not have been tolerated in polite society.  For all intents and purposes this commandment might as well not exist.

Of course violations of the other commandments have always existed, and existed even in the time of Moses.  I don’t think any society or religion to day actually worships graven images, nor do I believe any society today condones murder or theft or perjury.  Still all of these evils exist today and are the result of individual choice – of free will.  Satan uses the free will ordained by God to influence man to make poor choices.  These poor choices lead us away from God and into the hands of Satan.  The atheist or non-believe will argue that while evil exists in our society it has nothing to do with Satan who is as much of a myth as God.  Evil is a concept and an act defined by man.

But the dichotomy between Good and Evil is ancient with good being represented by God in some form and evil represented by Satan in some form.  Yes – God and Satan exist even if it only seen as good and evil and these forces have always existed under different names in different societies but the relevant point is that good and evil exist.  The names used to describe these is irrelevant but the question remains “ is our society more or less moral?”  Do we see increases in evil in our society?  Is our society more or less evil than it was in the 1950’s?  In the 1850’s?