I needed to go shopping so I wheel out of the driveway and onto the busy street leading to the market. I go about a hundred yards when the dreaded flashing lights come on. I pull over and fish out my driver’s license. The nice young policeman – looking and acting very professional – asks me for my driver’s license, which I give to him. He looks at it, then at me, then the car, and then the humiliating pile of trash in the back seat – says with stunning clarity – you’re from
? YES – I reply with friendly enthusiasm trying
to distract him from asking what I would be doing in a car like this. Then the dreaded question of “Can I see your
proof of insurance and registration ?”
Using my most disarming smile I explain that this is my grandson’s car
but I’ll check. I open the glove box and
it is stuffed with napkins, papers, wrappers, and as far as I can tell
newspaper clippings from the Titanic disaster.
Nevertheless, I make a heroic effort of rummaging through the pile of
debris but clearly testing the officer’s patience. After a period of nanoseconds to me and
glacial ages to him, he says “fergetaboutit”.
What’s your grandson’s name? I
give him the name explaining that he is in college in Michigan . Oklahoma
At this point the officer retires to his cruiser and returns with more questions. Where did you say your grandson is?
I reply. If he is in Oklahoma why does the car have Texas License
Plates? His parents live in Oklahoma I said. OH – Whose car is it? His? I say in my most suspicious voice. The officer then asks me who owns the
car? Of course at this point I have no
idea and honestly reply – I don’t know.
During this exchange the officer is carefully cataloguing everything in
the backseat. Finally, he says” Your
registration is expired – did you know that?
At this point I have visions of being arrested for a stolen vehicle. Before I can respond he also points out that
the inspection sticker is not only expired, it expired two years
previously. I can only explain that this
isn’t my car, I don’t know who owns it, I don’t know how my grandson got it,
I’m innocent!! Texas
The nice young officer clearly can see that I am just a grandfather totally confused by modern society and asks – “Do you know why I stopped you?” Before I can say “grand theft auto” he says “your brake light is out – you need to get that fixed. He simply laughs and returns to his cruiser. I complete my errand and return the car. As I exit the car the bumper falls off!! Maybe a car rental was a better idea.