Soccer Tees, Pluto, and Harris Tottle

There is a fascinating book available titled “”Non Campus Mentis” which is a collection of excerpts and quotes from the various tests and papers of students. It is always fascinating to look at history through the eyes of the students which is what the author has done and when you read what he has gleaned you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. The teacher’s present the materials but then something seems to be lost in the translation from mouth to ear because the students don’t seem to hear precisely what is being said or hear it and then don’t have a clue as to what it means, how to spell it, or even how it applies to anything. So here is a summary of World History which I have compiled based on the responses taken from this treasure trove of school tests and papers . The spellings have been left intact and I leave it to your discerning eye to distinguish between what is written by me and by the students and for this reason I have elected to not use distinguishing quotation marks.

Let us begin with ancient Egypt which has always been a challenge because counter to all logic on a map the Nile runs up (North) rather than down which has always caused consternation for the observer who views Egypt on a map, because as we all know, there was Upper Egypt and Lower Egypt. Lower Egypt is actually farther up than Upper Egypt which was – of course – lower down than the upper part. This is why we learn geography as a factor in history. Egypt was certainly an interesting and powerful civilization. The rulers of Egypt were entitled as Faroes with one of the most famous being King Toot. Of course one of the most famous things in Egypt is the pyramids. The pyramids were large square triangles built in the desert. O’Cyrus was a god who lived in a piramid and would give you the afterlife if your sole was on straight. The Egyptian upper class was able to live posthumously through the arts and facts buried with them.

And this brings us to that other great civilization – the Sumerian also known as the Mesopotamian which existed in a valley near the Eucaliptus river where flooding was erotic. Babylon was similar to Egypt because of their differences they had apart from each other. Egypt for example only had Egyptians but Babylon had Summarians, Acadians, and Canadians, to just name a few. The Babylonians honored their gods by building pyramids in the shape of zeplins. Mesopotamia was dominated at various times by the Medes, Persians, and Assyrians. The Assyrian program of exterminating various ethnic groups failed to promote cultural diversity. And so closes our tour through the truly ancient cultures and brings us to the Mediterranean and the Classical Age.

Athens, Sparta, and Pluto were Greek city states. Some were Oglearchies but Athens was a democracy resulting from the reforms of Colon and Percales. Sparta demanded loyalty, military service, and obscurity from its citizens. King Xerox of Persia invaded Greace but fell off short at the Battle of Thermosalami. Religion was polyphonic and featured such gods as Herod, Mars, and Juice. Thucydides was a noted historian who collected facts objectively and saw himself as responsible only to Clio, the Greek Mouse of History. Eventually the Greeks were conquered by Phillip of Mastodon who was later killed in a family sprawl. He was succeeded by Alexander the Great who conquered Persia, Egypt, and Japan. Sadly he died with no hairs.

The Greeks were important and laid the foundation for western civilization. They were important at culture and science. The scientific method came into use when the Greeks learned never to take things for granite when solving a problem. The Atomists discovered E=MC^2 and other mathematical things. U Clid proved that there is more than one side to every plane and Pythagasaurus fathered the triangle, while Archimedes made the first steamboat and power drill. But perhaps the greatest gifts of the Greeks were in the form of philosophy. The pre-Socratics lived long before Plato and were not decisively influenced by his work. Perhaps the greatest philosopher was Socrates who was accused of Sophomorism and sentenced to die of hemroyds. His student Plato invented reality and was teacher to Harris Tottle, author of the Republicans. Other philosophies included the Epicureans for them lust was a must. Others were the Vegetarians and the Synthetics who said “if you can’t play with it, why bother”.

The Greeks were eventually replaced by the great Roman Empire which was founded sometime by Uncle Remus and Wolf. The Roman upperclassmen demanded to be known as Patricia. Senators wore purple tubas as a sign of respect. Around the 120’s B.C the Gretzky brothers failed to stop these and other injustices. But the Republic carried on and struggled with the other great Mediterranean power – Carthage. Hannabelle crossed the Alps with a herd of eliphants and thus invaded Africa. After they defeated Carthage the Romans brutaly salted the people and razored the city. Scipio was called “Africanus” because he served in Spain. The Republic prospered but eventually it came to be dominated by Julius Caesar who was famous for inspiring his men by saying “I came I saw I went”. Caesar was assassinated on the Yikes of March and is reported to have said “Me Too Brutus”.

Following the assassination of Caesar Rome was subjected to many turnoilic events, oncluding Anthony’s elusive affair with Cleopatra. The shrewd Octavian grabbed hold of the Empire and he kept the people happy by giving them breaded circuses. Augustus (aka Octagenarian) founded the Roman Catholic Empire and punished those involved in sibilancy and adultery. The symbol of his authority was the Cross. He put it everywhere. Augustus did have to leave the Empire due to his death.

There are many theories about the fall of the Roman Empire and many were totally not possible and some of them were. This included more than enough religion, too much slavery, not enough water, and smoking from lead pipes. Then the Empire was swept with a tidal wave of Goths, Hungs, Zulu’s and others who impacted Rome. Athena the Hun rampaged the Balkans as far as France, where he plumaged and tortured people of the villages he captured. Thus ended the Roman Empire and Western Civilization entered the Dark Ages where it was mostly dark.

Certainly history is a lot more interesting when you have explained through the eyes of the students. Soccer Tees, Pluto, and Harris Tottle – I salute you.

On The War On Terror

The number of US casualties in Iraq is approaching 2000 so the usual anti-war, anti-Bush crowd are beating their breasts once again and demanding a withdrawal or at the very least a time table for a withdrawal. Then we have the extreme left who call the entire operation an invasion and occupation of a “peaceful” country. Peaceful apparently meaning one that has not attacked the United States or at least not attacked us in a manner that can be directly traced to them. The potential for attack and the probability that they have already attacked us doesn’t count. The murder of hundreds of thousands of innocent and unarmed people doesn’t count. These are the lineal descendants of those same people in the 1930’s who were convinced that if no one bothered Hitler he wouldn’t bother them. Austria didn’t matter – it was mostly German anyway. Czechoslovakia didn’t matter because it was largely German – or at least Hitler claimed it was. Of course Poland was a little different but then the Poles did take some land that once belonged to Germany so they just got what they deserved. Murdering Jews – well who knows if that was actually happening – besides the Jews were persecuted for generations so what else was new? The bottom line for the “peace at any price” crowd was “don’t do anything and Hitler will let us alone”. Of course he simply invaded Norway, Denmark, Belgium, and Holland, even though they protested they were neutral. To people like Hitler there was no such thing as neutrality and the same is true today of the war on terror. The Muslims do not have a nation state so they cannot be attacked but they strike at the West from shelters protected by “neutral” or certainly “non-belligerent” nation states – like Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Egypt, Libya, and Syria. Yet the current crop of “pacifiers” are treading the same old path of do nothing, concede, give in, pacify, and above all “understand” their position and they will stop.

Niccolo Machiavelli addressed this issue of avoiding war and I offer these two observations:

“..there is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others”

“...one must never allow disorder to continue so as to escape a war. Anyhow one does not escape; the war is merely postponed to one’s disadvantage.”

Every opportunity to actually stop Hitler was thwarted by the idea that war could be avoided by concessions and understanding. The same is true of the current war on terror. We are treated almost daily to the left (especially from the universities) who are insisting that the War of Terror is nothing other than a power grab for oil and was initiated solely for that purpose. That the Muslims have every right to attack the United States for our “arrogance” and “cultural destruction”. Although many of these people are highly educated they seem to lack any true grasp of history or foundation for the current situation.

Following the death of Mohammed Islam spread very rapidly – mostly through conquest and very quickly Islam dominated all of North Africa, Spain, all of the Middle East, Albania, Armenia, and all of southern Russia, much of India, and Mongolia. Of course this was not one vast political entity but it certainly was a loosely knit empire. Then the Crusaders came and their brutality helped to unify the fragments into an Empire under Saladin. This Empire existed under the Ottomans until 1917 when it was broken up by the French and British who in their inimical colonial was proceeded to divide the spoils and create these fake nation states that now dot Africa and the Middle East.

This European Arrogance gave birth to the Muslim Brotherhood which came into existence in the 1920’s as a militant secret society. The Brotherhood isn’t quite as secret as it once was but it still exists and it has been directly responsible for much of the unrest and terrorism. It was the Brotherhood who assassinated Anwar Sadat as well as other “moderate” Muslim leaders. While this group started as a political movement it has evolved into a militant religious movement bent on restoring the Muslim Empire and destroying the West in the process.

This is a real war and it is the worst kind because it is a religious war on one side and not even recognized as a war on the other much less a religious war. This war has been in process for almost a hundred years and has the probability of going on for another fifty years. This war can only be shortened by taking direct and forceful action which is what the current administration is doing. To stop this and to attempt to go back to a policy of concession and understanding will not stop the war, it will simply prolong it. Machiavelli has been proved right over and over again and it is time some of these people who think any armed force is uncivilized wake up before it is too late.

The Religion of Peace

Once again we are being treated to some vivid examples of how the Religion of Peace is practiced. We have people who have murdered or attempted to murder dozens, if not hundreds, of innocent people demanding "their rights". These are the people who view all westerners as "Crusaders" who are determined to destroy Islam and crush all Muslims. These are the people who view the (disgraceful) partioning of the Ottoman Empire not as a political act by victors in a war but as an overt attempt to destroy Islam and to steal their riches. These are people whose education -- if they have any and many do not -- is totally overshadowed by their religion because they cannot (and do not) separate their religion from their daily lives. The countries that we see are actually artificial (not totally but mostly) and our idea of a government established independently from religion is not only foreign to them but it is a sign of our degradation.

It is difficult for most of us to grasp or understand how these people think, especially those who are educated and who have been exposed to the west. However, we must also remember that it wasn't too long ago that the West was engaged in numerous bloodthirsty wars between Catholics and Protestants waged by educated people and that Islam still lives in the 7th Century. These are people whose religion instructs them to kill infidels and their Imams drill this into their heads.

We are constantly being told that Islam is a religion of peace and that the Muslim Community condemns violence. I have yet to see or hear any strong voice of condemnation emmanting from the Muslim community. Instead I hear meek and mild protestations followed by the ubiquitous BUT -- that excuses and justifies horrific acts of violence because of the War in Iraq, the Palestinians, or whatever excuse is handy at the time. What is glossed over in the West is that these acts of violence have been going on for a very long time. The Muslims still think they should have Spain (screw El Cid, Charlemagne, and Roland), that they are entitled to revenge from the Crusades, and that they have a right to all of the Middle East, North Africa, Egypt, Turkey, Greece, Albania, Bulgaria, Afghanistan, Uzbechestan, Checnya, Pakistan, --- well the world. While accusing the West of being the instigators the Muslim community conveniently forgets that it was the Muslims who attacked Israel not vice versa. It was the Muslims who murdered Sadat, It was the Muslims who attacked America, It was Musims who murdered thousands in Iraq, and it is Muslims who are killing Muslims not the West.

Even within our own society we hear people like (traitor) Jane Fonda, calling for "peace" and understanding of the Palestinian position. First, in order to have peace you must have some one to negotiate with -- and that would be whom? Secondly, there must be some desire for peace but there has never been any indication that the Muslims have any desire for peace. What they desire is the complete desruction of Western Society, the death of all infidels, the establishment of Shar'ia Law, the destruction of Israel, and a return to herding goats.

It is time that we understand this is a WAR -- an unconventional one and one that has already been going on for more than 70 years and has every indication of going on for many more years. It has lasted this long because too many people make excuses, believe that Islam is peaceful, that we need to "understand" the Muslim position, and if we would just stop fighting and give them what they want, we would have peace. Unfortunately peace is not the absence of war, and there will be no peace in this war. This is war with no quarter given and it is a struggle to the death. It is a religious war and it the time is long past for us to understand that our adversaries want our totally destruction.

It is time to charge these Imams who preach violence with sedition, to deport Muslims who advocate violence, and to close any Mosque where hate and violence is preached. To a large extent what we are experiencing is the fruits of multi-culturalism. This is a philosophy that divides and prevents assimilation. If these people are not assimilated or refuse to be assimilated then we have seeds of civil war.