Like many American’s I spend a lot of time observing life and the world from my living room couch and the view isn’t pretty either. That is the observations aren’t pretty, not viewing me laying on the couch like some great beached whale – well -- maybe a Walrus – would you accept a svelte Otter? In any event, I am struck by the commercials and how depressing they have become. At one time we were treated every evening to peppy commercials attempting to convince of us to buy soap (Tide’s In – Dirt’s Out), after shave, tooth paste (You’ll wonder where the yellow went), and a host of other fun products. Now the commercials seem to focus on the most negative aspects of our society, even though they use sexy models to draw our attention. And what are the products these people are trying to sell us?
Certainly the one I find most intriguing is the Bow Flex commercials. You know – the ones that show a young man with rippling ab’s and muscular thighs assuring us that he got this way in only 6 weeks. This is followed up by a young woman with rippling ab’s and muscular thighs assuring us that we could look like this in only six weeks. I’m not sure I want to know a woman with more muscles than me and somehow I suspect that young man got that way by spending six months in the gym and only the last six weeks on the Bow Flex. Besides, why would you want to look like that unless you were planning a vacation at the Sunny Farms Nudist Camp.
But then we have all of the pharmaceutical commercials who are pushing drugs, pills, and potions for everything from hair loss to hair removal. The toothpaste commercials are gone and in their place we have beautiful people selling teeth whiteners. These people have obviously never been to a dentist who would assure them that human teeth are not naturally white, they may appear that way but they are actually yellow. Of course that’s human teeth but these people could be Stepford automatons for all we know because once they smile their teeth are so white you could see your reflection in their teeth when they smile. They might actually glow in the dark – very natural for automatons but not very realistic for actual people.
But these are only the tip of the iceberg, because you also have those commercials that assure you that their product will solve your problem. The tag on these commercials is a half screen of fine print which could be written in Latin for all I know because the print is so small and on the screen for such a short time it is impossible to read what this product MIGHT do. The real kicker is the voice over that assures you that the side effects of this wonder drug might include, dizziness, diarrhea, nausea, erectile dysfunction, and in some cases fatal side-effects might occur. This sounds to me like the cure is worse than the disease, but my absolute favorite is the commercial that ends by warning you that if you have an erection lasting more than four hours, you should call for medical assistance. If this happened to me I would be calling the Guinness book of world records, not 911.
My point was that all of these modern commercials are for negative things like insurance, health, and medicine rather than fun things like soap and tobacco. I miss the old cigarette commercials where they assured you that 9 out of 10 doctors preferred Camel Cigarettes over any other brand. Where are those doctors now? Have they given up cigarettes in favor of bottled water and Yogurt? In any case those were the good old days, but commercials aren’t the only things that I have observed from my vantage point on the sofa. I have observed that all people in the United States are somewhere between 18 and 30 years old, in perfect health, with perfect (and brilliantly white) teeth, tanned, and apparently unemployed since none of them ever seem to have jobs. I am beginning to get uneasy about this because I am starting to wonder what happens to all of the people over 30 or 40 or – gasp – 50. They don’t seem to exist in the perfect world of Television Land but I’m beginning to suspect that they are used as guinea pigs for all of those drugs with the unusual side-effects.
Perhaps the more interesting point is the huge number of people willing to degrade themselves and be publicly humiliated just to be on some reality show. Of course none of these shows have anything to do with reality, unless of course you live on some deserted island and regularly eat disgusting things. But to be fair there is an astonishing number of people who feel that America is waiting to be entertained by their unique ability to ride a unicycle and juggle six tennis balls, while playing The Rhapsody in Blue” with a harmonica dangling from a rhinestone Tiara. But then you also have those who are totally devoid of any talent past breathing in and out but appear on TV for the sole purpose of being publicly humiliated in some bogus talent search. Apparently it has never occurred to anyone that the auditions alone have determined who has talent, who doesn’t, and who will likely be selected. There is more competition displayed by the folks trying to get to the bathroom after a long sermon.
Still television isn’t all reality shows and depressing commercials, some are actually educational, or at least seem to be. Foremost among these is the History Channel which is also known as “Hitlervision” but to be fair, they seem to have exhausted WW II and have moved on to things like Archeological digs. Sifting sand looking for pottery shards can be riveting and is almost as stimulating as watching the endless parade of sharks and fish on the Animal Planet. However, the Animal Planet does provide some alternative programming that includes lions, tigers, bears, and snakes in various stages of hunting or consuming prey. I thought one of the most educational things I saw on Animal Planet was the dead man whose head was stuck inside of the mouth of his “pet” Burmese Python. I presume the Python was piqued by the inadequate supply of rabbits and tried to make a point with his master, who unfortunately died in the process. Apparently many of these animals don’t fully understand that they are PETS and should behave accordingly and not react like their brethren in the wild.
But I love TV and have learned so much from it. I think the most important thing I have learned is that watching TV in association with diet and exercise will cause you to lose weight – really -- just listen closely because every weight loss program rests on diet and exercise. So I’m off to my exercise program which consists to pillow fluffing, rummaging to find the clicker, and eating my non-fried, low fat, low carb, potato chips.
Showing posts with label Televison. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Televison. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Educational Television
Television is indeed a wonderful medium, it teaches so much and then it sometimes shows you others in the learning process. But you are never quite sure who is learning -- the viewer, the writer, or those talking heads who the viewer is assured are really intelligent. I have learned so much from television that I feel I wasted years in reading and listening to all of those lectures. For instance I have learned the Bermuda Triangle should be avoided, I know that diet and exercise in association with virtually anything – like Chocolate Pudding for example – will cause you to lose weight. I have learned that smoking causes hang nails, weight gain, sexual dysfunction, and dental decay, plus reducing your mental competence to the point to where you vote Republican. I now know that Americans – all Americans are obese primarily from eating super-sized hamburgers and drinking Cokes. Television is truly an amazing medium and I learn constantly from it.
Television has assured me that in spite of all of the evidence to the contrary Evolution is a fact and not a theory and that we have actually descended from apes. Nevertheless I believe in freedom of religion so I continue to support Evolution as a belief system. I am totally aware that at any minute a huge meteor will strike the Earth and wipe out all of mankind. Television has taught me that Al Gore and Global Warming are real and we are in imminent danger of being roasted alive – or is it freeze to death due to the coming ice age that is the result of global warming? It is all so confusing. . I have learned that if your career has tanked the solution is to immediately announce that you have a drug or alcohol problem and you are bound for rehab. Of course what is to be rehabilitated is the career not the habit, but then who notices. But these are the global issues that everyone has learned from Television, but there are many other lessons lurking in the background – if you only watch. For example in television land – men are essentially stupid, women make the best rocket scientists, that weepy men are attractive to real babe’s, and women are truly the master race.
Alas, while I don’t totally agree with all of the wonderful feminists who assure me that as a male I am doomed to the life of serfdom and ignorance I see on television, I do find some (slim) facts that indicate they might be right. I think this understanding of the male role begins with marriage and that you need only to examine recently married men, you know the men who think that marriage really didn’t change anything other than the laundry service. Of course all of those men who have been married for longer than the average age of a fruit fly know that once you have uttered those fateful words “I DO” nothing is ever the same. Life as you know it has ended and your lifetime of adjusting to the weird world of women has begun. This adjustment requires a lifetime and the reality is most men never reach any true level of understanding the female mind, they simply adapt to the conditions. Women are simply different and this difference is much greater than the simple physical differences. The very foundation of these differences begins with what is important and what is not. For example for women there are approximately ten to the 27th power of things that are important but for the average male there are simply ten and after food and sex (in that order) he must be reminded of the other eight.
Almost immediately after that fateful day that is enshrined in the female mind as “the Anniversary”, the male comes to understand that all of those things that he enjoyed are “tacky” and that his wardrobe falls somewhere between pathetic and embarrassing. But this isn’t really where the learning and adjustment begins. Believe it or not it begins with women’s sizes and underwear --- errrr – ah yes – lingerie (pronounced “lawn – jer –ray’ – NOT “ling-grrr -eee). Most men don’t put a great deal of thought into their own clothes and even less into women’s other than ease of removal. Clothes for men come in small, medium, or large and extra-large and men generally fall into one of these categories unless of course we are talking about jock straps and in that case everyone wears a large (extra-large is pure ego and generally would not be believed). Now I have been married for many years and I still have not grasped women’s sizes. They come in petite, juniors (but no seniors) plus sizes (which no one seems to actually wear so why stores stock them I have no idea), and a whole bunch of other sizes, which all seem purely arbitrary. The numerical sizes do not follow any logical system because a size 6 and a size 7 are only sold to anorexics and seem to bear no relationship to each other.
But the real difference between the sexes lies in their underwear. For guys underwear is really pretty simple. You have briefs for guys who like comfort, or boxers for guys who like the wedgie feel, or for those guys who can’t decide whether to be cool or comfortable you have the boxer brief, and that’s it!!. For women there are entire stores devoted exclusively to their underwear and none seem oriented toward comfort – the merchandise not the store. The sizes are as mysterious as the Periodic Table of Elements. Bra’s seem to range in size from skimpy little band-aid type things to cupful, handful, and up to “Big Bertha”. The panties range in size from little pieces of lace that require a bikini wax to the “Thigh Master” and there the name says it all.
But it isn’t just the clothes that distinguish the sexes, we also have differences that the typical male can never seem to comprehend. For instance take the toilet paper, which as any man knows can be found on the toilet paper holder. How it gets there is largely unknown and it is generally believed by most men that there is some sort of a toilet paper fairy – who based on television is apparently known as “Charmin”. Charmin is both squeezable and efficient and replaces the toilet paper as required – I think. But this is actually an example of how truly simple men are because the female of the species has distinct preferences regarding the placement of the toilet paper on the holder. Once married the male quickly discovers that toilet paper must feed either over the top or from under the role. There really isn’t any correct way but every woman has a preference and if the husband intends to continue his conjugal relationship he should master this art of toilet paper replacement.
But the toilet paper adjustment is only the tip of the iceberg in marital adjustment. Most men never really realized how primitively they were living prior to marriage or learned how to deal with the problems that they never realized were problems. One of these is the “noise”. At some time shortly after marriage there will be a noise in the night. This noise was initially heard by Eve in the garden while poor Adam slept. She went to investigate and as we say the rest is history. However, since that time, women do not go to investigate mysterious noises – that is the man’s job. This noise always occurs shortly after the husband has dropped off to sleep. Of course the husband after a long day of toil could sleep through the San Francisco Earthquake, but women’s hearing is genetically different. A woman can hear cotton rubbing on silk from a distance of approximately a quarter mile and immediately conclude that this noise is due to a drug crazed burglar intent on stealing the --- well it really doesn’t matter what they were planning on stealing because it is the husband’s duty to frighten him away before that event occurs.
Now any man who has been through this knows that pretending to be asleep is fruitless because the dear wife will continue punching him in the back until he gets up and searches high and low for the source of the “noise”. The newly married man will commonly pretend to be asleep but this simply demonstrates his naiveté because it won’t work. The woman will continue beating on his back until blunt force trauma becomes a real possibility. The next male strategy employed by the newly married is to explain the noise as “nothing”, but this won’t work either. Women KNOW that something dangerous has occurred and the noise must be identified or there will be no sleep. Sleep can only be achieved by the husband getting out of bed, prowling throughout the house in his underwear, and then returning to bed and announcing – it’s nothing – go to sleep. Now the man who has been married long enough to have been through this drill a few times, simply gets up goes the refrigerator, gets something to munch on, opens the door, closes it, turns on a couple of lights, and then returns to the dear wife and announces it was nothing. The wife is now free to go to sleep knowing that the home has been protected, the noise identified (it was nothing), and she is secure in knowing that her man has once again saved the day. But I digress – let’s return to the topic of Television as a medium.
Television is certainly a source of entertainment as well as education. Not only do we learn about men and women, we also learn about medicine, nutrition, and exercise. From television I have learned that if you join the Bow Flex generation you will look like a superhero in just a few short weeks. Clearly Bow Flex sweat has regenerative powers because they all look so young and healthy. But that’s when I discovered that if you only eat Oatmeal your cholesterol will drop to astonishing levels. This has been demonstrated clinically using horses and not one had high cholesterol, although some people who have eaten oatmeal for extended periods did come to resemble a Quaker. I think it was the hat.
Television has assured me that in spite of all of the evidence to the contrary Evolution is a fact and not a theory and that we have actually descended from apes. Nevertheless I believe in freedom of religion so I continue to support Evolution as a belief system. I am totally aware that at any minute a huge meteor will strike the Earth and wipe out all of mankind. Television has taught me that Al Gore and Global Warming are real and we are in imminent danger of being roasted alive – or is it freeze to death due to the coming ice age that is the result of global warming? It is all so confusing. . I have learned that if your career has tanked the solution is to immediately announce that you have a drug or alcohol problem and you are bound for rehab. Of course what is to be rehabilitated is the career not the habit, but then who notices. But these are the global issues that everyone has learned from Television, but there are many other lessons lurking in the background – if you only watch. For example in television land – men are essentially stupid, women make the best rocket scientists, that weepy men are attractive to real babe’s, and women are truly the master race.
Alas, while I don’t totally agree with all of the wonderful feminists who assure me that as a male I am doomed to the life of serfdom and ignorance I see on television, I do find some (slim) facts that indicate they might be right. I think this understanding of the male role begins with marriage and that you need only to examine recently married men, you know the men who think that marriage really didn’t change anything other than the laundry service. Of course all of those men who have been married for longer than the average age of a fruit fly know that once you have uttered those fateful words “I DO” nothing is ever the same. Life as you know it has ended and your lifetime of adjusting to the weird world of women has begun. This adjustment requires a lifetime and the reality is most men never reach any true level of understanding the female mind, they simply adapt to the conditions. Women are simply different and this difference is much greater than the simple physical differences. The very foundation of these differences begins with what is important and what is not. For example for women there are approximately ten to the 27th power of things that are important but for the average male there are simply ten and after food and sex (in that order) he must be reminded of the other eight.
Almost immediately after that fateful day that is enshrined in the female mind as “the Anniversary”, the male comes to understand that all of those things that he enjoyed are “tacky” and that his wardrobe falls somewhere between pathetic and embarrassing. But this isn’t really where the learning and adjustment begins. Believe it or not it begins with women’s sizes and underwear --- errrr – ah yes – lingerie (pronounced “lawn – jer –ray’ – NOT “ling-grrr -eee). Most men don’t put a great deal of thought into their own clothes and even less into women’s other than ease of removal. Clothes for men come in small, medium, or large and extra-large and men generally fall into one of these categories unless of course we are talking about jock straps and in that case everyone wears a large (extra-large is pure ego and generally would not be believed). Now I have been married for many years and I still have not grasped women’s sizes. They come in petite, juniors (but no seniors) plus sizes (which no one seems to actually wear so why stores stock them I have no idea), and a whole bunch of other sizes, which all seem purely arbitrary. The numerical sizes do not follow any logical system because a size 6 and a size 7 are only sold to anorexics and seem to bear no relationship to each other.
But the real difference between the sexes lies in their underwear. For guys underwear is really pretty simple. You have briefs for guys who like comfort, or boxers for guys who like the wedgie feel, or for those guys who can’t decide whether to be cool or comfortable you have the boxer brief, and that’s it!!. For women there are entire stores devoted exclusively to their underwear and none seem oriented toward comfort – the merchandise not the store. The sizes are as mysterious as the Periodic Table of Elements. Bra’s seem to range in size from skimpy little band-aid type things to cupful, handful, and up to “Big Bertha”. The panties range in size from little pieces of lace that require a bikini wax to the “Thigh Master” and there the name says it all.
But it isn’t just the clothes that distinguish the sexes, we also have differences that the typical male can never seem to comprehend. For instance take the toilet paper, which as any man knows can be found on the toilet paper holder. How it gets there is largely unknown and it is generally believed by most men that there is some sort of a toilet paper fairy – who based on television is apparently known as “Charmin”. Charmin is both squeezable and efficient and replaces the toilet paper as required – I think. But this is actually an example of how truly simple men are because the female of the species has distinct preferences regarding the placement of the toilet paper on the holder. Once married the male quickly discovers that toilet paper must feed either over the top or from under the role. There really isn’t any correct way but every woman has a preference and if the husband intends to continue his conjugal relationship he should master this art of toilet paper replacement.
But the toilet paper adjustment is only the tip of the iceberg in marital adjustment. Most men never really realized how primitively they were living prior to marriage or learned how to deal with the problems that they never realized were problems. One of these is the “noise”. At some time shortly after marriage there will be a noise in the night. This noise was initially heard by Eve in the garden while poor Adam slept. She went to investigate and as we say the rest is history. However, since that time, women do not go to investigate mysterious noises – that is the man’s job. This noise always occurs shortly after the husband has dropped off to sleep. Of course the husband after a long day of toil could sleep through the San Francisco Earthquake, but women’s hearing is genetically different. A woman can hear cotton rubbing on silk from a distance of approximately a quarter mile and immediately conclude that this noise is due to a drug crazed burglar intent on stealing the --- well it really doesn’t matter what they were planning on stealing because it is the husband’s duty to frighten him away before that event occurs.
Now any man who has been through this knows that pretending to be asleep is fruitless because the dear wife will continue punching him in the back until he gets up and searches high and low for the source of the “noise”. The newly married man will commonly pretend to be asleep but this simply demonstrates his naiveté because it won’t work. The woman will continue beating on his back until blunt force trauma becomes a real possibility. The next male strategy employed by the newly married is to explain the noise as “nothing”, but this won’t work either. Women KNOW that something dangerous has occurred and the noise must be identified or there will be no sleep. Sleep can only be achieved by the husband getting out of bed, prowling throughout the house in his underwear, and then returning to bed and announcing – it’s nothing – go to sleep. Now the man who has been married long enough to have been through this drill a few times, simply gets up goes the refrigerator, gets something to munch on, opens the door, closes it, turns on a couple of lights, and then returns to the dear wife and announces it was nothing. The wife is now free to go to sleep knowing that the home has been protected, the noise identified (it was nothing), and she is secure in knowing that her man has once again saved the day. But I digress – let’s return to the topic of Television as a medium.
Television is certainly a source of entertainment as well as education. Not only do we learn about men and women, we also learn about medicine, nutrition, and exercise. From television I have learned that if you join the Bow Flex generation you will look like a superhero in just a few short weeks. Clearly Bow Flex sweat has regenerative powers because they all look so young and healthy. But that’s when I discovered that if you only eat Oatmeal your cholesterol will drop to astonishing levels. This has been demonstrated clinically using horses and not one had high cholesterol, although some people who have eaten oatmeal for extended periods did come to resemble a Quaker. I think it was the hat.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Gray Becomes The World
How I envy the young, not for their lithe bodies and tight skin but for their clarity. For the young the world is black and white where everything is good or bad, right or wrong, moral or immoral with very little in between. Decisions come swiftly and with certainty but with the onset of maturity tinges of gray begin to creep in. Decisions begin to take longer and when made they lack that air of absoluteness that once was present. Gradually – oh so gradually – gray spreads and the black and white view of the world fades until nothing seems to be absolutely right or wrong, totally moral or completely immoral, and decisions come slowly, if at all, and when they do come, they are filled with uncertainty and ambiguity.
Increasingly I observe via the television this clarity of vision that I seem to have lost. Yet I see people rendering decisions that I think would have confounded Solomon and certainly have confounded me. Perhaps the most visible today is the situation with Teri Schaivo. There are people who are vehemently supporting both sides, apparently comfortable in making decisions for others without actually having any facts on which to base their decision. Personally I don’t know what to think and can only thank God that I do not have to make the decision whether she should live or die. Who is right? The husband maintains he is carrying out her wishes while the parents plead for the right to care for her. The husband refuses to divorce her while living outside of his marriage vows – why? The parents are determined to keep her alive but perhaps only as a living vegetable regardless of what her wishes might have been. How do I know who is right? The courts have stayed within the framework of the law and have refused to get involved in the moral aspect of the case. Perhaps that is wise but then perhaps it is the coward’s way. Of course I have an opinion – like everyone else – but it is an OPINION and not based on anything other than my own individual moral compass.
Then we have the situation with that Man-boy Michael Jackson. Everyone seems to have made up their mind regarding whether or not he is a child molester. How can anyone be absolutely sure of his guilt or innocence? Clearly he is someone in desperate need of psychiatric help because he appears to my untrained eye, to be a case of arrested development. I think he reacts like a ten year old boy, who likes to hang out with his friends and do the things that ten year old boys do, and that includes all of the titillating aspects of sex and sexual exploration. This is certainly does not condone any behavior that would fall into the category of molestation because he is in fact a 40 year old man. But I’m not trained and I wasn’t there and the accusers all seem to have an agenda. So how can anyone be so certain that he is guilty or innocent? There is no doubt that he acted inappropriately for an adult but then being a physical adult doesn’t make him a mental adult. So his actions have to be examined in terms of his mental development, which is far from normal -- and any decision regarding him and his conduct falls into the realm of gray and uncertainty – at least for me.
But there are many more issues where people seem to have a clarity that I lack and among these is abortion. This is a matter that moves people to violence – sort of – kill a commie for Christ – while purporting to protect the unborn from violence. The nub of this argument really lies with some philosophical issues that have plagued mankind for years. To some the moment the sperm enters the egg life begins so any deliberate violence to the egg is tantamount to murder, except for those who believe life begins with the first breath. To the atheist, the soul doesn’t exist so when life begins is open to interpretation—presumably with the first breath otherwise abortion would be murder. For others, life begins with the entry of the soul into the body but the problem seems to be – when does this happen? Some think it happens at the time of conception so abortion is murder – pure and simple, but others think the soul enters the body with the first breath so abortion is purely a clinical matter. Others take the view that the decision to abort is purely the woman’s decision and is independent of these philosophical issues, which sidesteps the issue of what constitutes murder. Personally, I don’t know and I am puzzled by how so many people are convinced they know the answer, when these are questions that have been debated for centuries. From my perspective these people are entitled to their opinion but that is all it is – their opinion. To foist their opinion onto the rest of us is wrong. This does not mean I am pro-abortion or pro-life, it simply means I don’t know. I do think the decision to abort is a very personal one and not one that any woman makes lightly. So to me this is another one of those areas where everything is gray and unlike so many others, I don’t this issue with any clarity.
Then we have the issue of war – not just the current Iraqi affair, but war in general. I see people of various ages – some old enough to know better – marching around with anti-war slogans. Many of these people are simply anti-Bush agitators, but some are sincere in their feelings that war is wrong. This issue was addressed by Aristophanes in his play Lysistrada hundreds of years before Christ. I think everyone would be willing to concede that war is a bad thing but at no time in history of man has there been a period of total peace. Peace – such as it has been – has been maintained by the force of arms and those countries that were weak or undefended were exploited at best and destroyed at worst. There is no doubt that war is bad but is it immoral? Is it morally wrong to use force to defend those who cannot defend themselves from those who would destroy them? In effect these anti-war activists are saying that war is morally wrong and that it is better to allow the weak to be destroyed by the strong because this is the Darwinian way and to intervene in this natural process is immoral. To make it more relevant essentially Hussein had every right to murder and pillage his people because to intervene as President Bush did, is morally wrong because it interfered with the natural process. This same argument could be mounted to defend Hitler, because to go to war to stop murder is wrong.
This argument then escalates to weapons – because weapons kill people and the atomic bomb is the most potent weapon for mass killing and therefore, it should be outlawed. Of course, I don’t think in the history of mankind has their ever been an example of a weapon murdering someone unless the weapon was employed by a human hand. Weapons are bad, guns are bad, but so are people. In fact, every society has outlawed bad behavior and has punished those who violate the rules – these are called criminals. Criminals act immorally but to disarm the populace is to place them at risk to those individuals who are willing to use force to take what they want. So who is the most immoral – the person who disarms the people so they can’t defend themselves or the person who is willing to take advantage of those unable to defend themselves?
So as I stated at the outset – how I envy the young their clarity and certainty because as you age, things get very gray and certainty about anything comes in very small doses.
Increasingly I observe via the television this clarity of vision that I seem to have lost. Yet I see people rendering decisions that I think would have confounded Solomon and certainly have confounded me. Perhaps the most visible today is the situation with Teri Schaivo. There are people who are vehemently supporting both sides, apparently comfortable in making decisions for others without actually having any facts on which to base their decision. Personally I don’t know what to think and can only thank God that I do not have to make the decision whether she should live or die. Who is right? The husband maintains he is carrying out her wishes while the parents plead for the right to care for her. The husband refuses to divorce her while living outside of his marriage vows – why? The parents are determined to keep her alive but perhaps only as a living vegetable regardless of what her wishes might have been. How do I know who is right? The courts have stayed within the framework of the law and have refused to get involved in the moral aspect of the case. Perhaps that is wise but then perhaps it is the coward’s way. Of course I have an opinion – like everyone else – but it is an OPINION and not based on anything other than my own individual moral compass.
Then we have the situation with that Man-boy Michael Jackson. Everyone seems to have made up their mind regarding whether or not he is a child molester. How can anyone be absolutely sure of his guilt or innocence? Clearly he is someone in desperate need of psychiatric help because he appears to my untrained eye, to be a case of arrested development. I think he reacts like a ten year old boy, who likes to hang out with his friends and do the things that ten year old boys do, and that includes all of the titillating aspects of sex and sexual exploration. This is certainly does not condone any behavior that would fall into the category of molestation because he is in fact a 40 year old man. But I’m not trained and I wasn’t there and the accusers all seem to have an agenda. So how can anyone be so certain that he is guilty or innocent? There is no doubt that he acted inappropriately for an adult but then being a physical adult doesn’t make him a mental adult. So his actions have to be examined in terms of his mental development, which is far from normal -- and any decision regarding him and his conduct falls into the realm of gray and uncertainty – at least for me.
But there are many more issues where people seem to have a clarity that I lack and among these is abortion. This is a matter that moves people to violence – sort of – kill a commie for Christ – while purporting to protect the unborn from violence. The nub of this argument really lies with some philosophical issues that have plagued mankind for years. To some the moment the sperm enters the egg life begins so any deliberate violence to the egg is tantamount to murder, except for those who believe life begins with the first breath. To the atheist, the soul doesn’t exist so when life begins is open to interpretation—presumably with the first breath otherwise abortion would be murder. For others, life begins with the entry of the soul into the body but the problem seems to be – when does this happen? Some think it happens at the time of conception so abortion is murder – pure and simple, but others think the soul enters the body with the first breath so abortion is purely a clinical matter. Others take the view that the decision to abort is purely the woman’s decision and is independent of these philosophical issues, which sidesteps the issue of what constitutes murder. Personally, I don’t know and I am puzzled by how so many people are convinced they know the answer, when these are questions that have been debated for centuries. From my perspective these people are entitled to their opinion but that is all it is – their opinion. To foist their opinion onto the rest of us is wrong. This does not mean I am pro-abortion or pro-life, it simply means I don’t know. I do think the decision to abort is a very personal one and not one that any woman makes lightly. So to me this is another one of those areas where everything is gray and unlike so many others, I don’t this issue with any clarity.
Then we have the issue of war – not just the current Iraqi affair, but war in general. I see people of various ages – some old enough to know better – marching around with anti-war slogans. Many of these people are simply anti-Bush agitators, but some are sincere in their feelings that war is wrong. This issue was addressed by Aristophanes in his play Lysistrada hundreds of years before Christ. I think everyone would be willing to concede that war is a bad thing but at no time in history of man has there been a period of total peace. Peace – such as it has been – has been maintained by the force of arms and those countries that were weak or undefended were exploited at best and destroyed at worst. There is no doubt that war is bad but is it immoral? Is it morally wrong to use force to defend those who cannot defend themselves from those who would destroy them? In effect these anti-war activists are saying that war is morally wrong and that it is better to allow the weak to be destroyed by the strong because this is the Darwinian way and to intervene in this natural process is immoral. To make it more relevant essentially Hussein had every right to murder and pillage his people because to intervene as President Bush did, is morally wrong because it interfered with the natural process. This same argument could be mounted to defend Hitler, because to go to war to stop murder is wrong.
This argument then escalates to weapons – because weapons kill people and the atomic bomb is the most potent weapon for mass killing and therefore, it should be outlawed. Of course, I don’t think in the history of mankind has their ever been an example of a weapon murdering someone unless the weapon was employed by a human hand. Weapons are bad, guns are bad, but so are people. In fact, every society has outlawed bad behavior and has punished those who violate the rules – these are called criminals. Criminals act immorally but to disarm the populace is to place them at risk to those individuals who are willing to use force to take what they want. So who is the most immoral – the person who disarms the people so they can’t defend themselves or the person who is willing to take advantage of those unable to defend themselves?
So as I stated at the outset – how I envy the young their clarity and certainty because as you age, things get very gray and certainty about anything comes in very small doses.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Answers Answers
Here are my answers to the 30 questions. I thought these were good questions to use as a conversation starter. But as I read answers they don't seem to be very provocative or even unusal, but here they are -- the real me.
Thirty Questions
1. Do you have a personal hero? If so, who is it?
I don't really have a personal hero, but the people I admire the most are George Washington (set aside absolute power), Winston Churchill - a true leader
2. What is your favorite book of all time?
I love books but the ones I have reread many times are the various books by Issac Asimov and Shakespeare, but I read extensively – mostly non-fiction.
3. What does "diversity" mean to you?
A left wing political slogan used to justify the destruction of the American melting pot and blatant discrimination against English Speaking Caucasians
4. What is the wildest thing you've ever done?
Getting drunk on Rum and Coke (I hate it to this day), falling into a river, losing all of my clothes, including a new pair of custom made boots, getting toasted over a fire by my roommate and the two of us waking up the following day without any clothes and no knowledge as to where they were or how we got home. I was hung over for a week and I no longer drink alcohol in any form.
5. Do you regret doing it?
No, it makes for some great stories when we get together now.
6. Can you drive a stick shift?
Yes
7. What’s the highest speed you've ever traveled in a car?
A bit over 130mph in my corvette.
8. Were you driving, or riding at the time?
Driving and I got a ticket too
9. How do you define success?
Difficult thing to define but I think if people respect you, seek your opinion and look up to you then you are successful. It has nothing to do with wealth. If your children grow up to be productive citizens that too is the mark of a successful person.
10. What is the most disgusting thing you ever ate?
I don't know but it was an unidentified Chinese thing – disgusting. I ate it at a business dinner and couldn’t refuse it. No wonder I hate multi-cultural diversity (LOL)
11. Have you ever wet your pants? Be HONEST!
Not recently, but once I was in such a hurry that I didn’t get it all the way out in time and managed to wet my pants pretty good. I covered by saying that I splashed water on myself (LOL) (Now that I think about it -- I guess SIZE may have been a factor in association with haste).
12. Was losing your virginity an enjoyable experience?
No
13. Should oral sex be outlawed or encouraged?
I don't think it is anyone's business one way or another
14. Name one man with a fine ass.
Believe it or not, I racked my brain and I can't think of any man whose ass I noted as either good, bad, or indifferent. I’ve been in a lot of locker rooms and can’t think of one ass that I remember.
15. Do you watch golf on television? If not, will you iron my shirts?
No and No
16. Who is John Galt
Character in Atlas Shrugged (bet you thought I didn’t know)
17. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I think I'd lose some weight and about 20 years
18. Do you eat raw oysters?
No. Maybe that was what that disgusting Chinese thing was??
..
19. Are you claustrophobic?
Not especially.
20. If you rode a motorcycle, would you wear a helmet even if the law said you didn‘t have to?
I wouldn’t ride a motorcycle to begin with.
21. Name five great Presidents.
Washington, Lincoln, Truman, Reagan, and George W. Bush All conservative except for Truman who easily weighs in as number 3..
22. Name three really bad Presidents.
Clinton, Carter, and Harding but I'm revising my opinion of Clinton so maybe Grant should be substituted.
23. What was the dumbest thing you ever did?.
Aside from the rum and coke incident, I stood next to a shooting (geophysical) hole when they blew 250lbs of dynamite. The result was I was showered with mud, crud, and humiliation since I just proved a college education doesn’t make you smart. Everyone else took cover. It did mark me as human rather than the priggish college boy that people thought I was.
24. This is the 4th of July. Did you set off any fireworks?
Too hot – watched the neighbors
25. Are you successful or unsuccessful?
I have always considered myself a failure since I have never achieved my goals, but then some one calls me every day looking for insight, advice, or help. So I guess by some standards I am successful as a person even if I am not as an executive. But I guess I don’t think of myself as successful.
26 What do you consider the most boring activity?
Watching most sports on TV – in fact I am not much of a spectator so I guess watching life go by is boring. Too many people must be entertained rather than entertaining themselves. So I think passiveness is the most boring thing.
27 Do you have a “best friend”? Who is it?
Not really. I have been in a leadership position since I was 22. That has isolated me from almost all personal connections. My wife is my best friend today and at various times in my younger life I had close friends. Even today I keep in touch with my college friends and my roommate but I don’t think I have a “best male friend.”
28 Have you ever been naked outside in a public place? Where?
Apparently the Rum and Coke incident resulted in me being naked outside in a public place since my roommate and I later found our clothes by the river side several miles away. Obviously we came home naked as jay birds so I was outside in public naked as the day I was born. However, I had several opportunities to be naked outside in a public place while I was in the Army and I am not shy about being nude even though I don't parade around naked.
29 Who is the most interesting person you know? (Spouses don’t count)
I know several well known psychics and they are quite interesting. I also know a gay guy who used to work for me who is an absolute stitch and he is a great conversationalist. But I find almost everyone interesting.
30 If you could have dinner and conversation with anyone in the history of the planet, who would you choose?
That's a tough question but I think I would pick Jesus Christ, to get the real scoop, Tallyrand - for his wit and consummate political skills, Winston Churchill for his command of English and English History, Cicero for his insight into law and history, and Benjamin Franklin for his intelligence, wit, and charm.
Well there you have it -- my life in a nutshell. Sort of like everyone else's life. I discovered a long time ago that people are all pretty much alike. There are some evil people in the world but they are a small minority. Most people are good upstanding people whose lives are pretty much like mine.
Thirty Questions
1. Do you have a personal hero? If so, who is it?
I don't really have a personal hero, but the people I admire the most are George Washington (set aside absolute power), Winston Churchill - a true leader
2. What is your favorite book of all time?
I love books but the ones I have reread many times are the various books by Issac Asimov and Shakespeare, but I read extensively – mostly non-fiction.
3. What does "diversity" mean to you?
A left wing political slogan used to justify the destruction of the American melting pot and blatant discrimination against English Speaking Caucasians
4. What is the wildest thing you've ever done?
Getting drunk on Rum and Coke (I hate it to this day), falling into a river, losing all of my clothes, including a new pair of custom made boots, getting toasted over a fire by my roommate and the two of us waking up the following day without any clothes and no knowledge as to where they were or how we got home. I was hung over for a week and I no longer drink alcohol in any form.
5. Do you regret doing it?
No, it makes for some great stories when we get together now.
6. Can you drive a stick shift?
Yes
7. What’s the highest speed you've ever traveled in a car?
A bit over 130mph in my corvette.
8. Were you driving, or riding at the time?
Driving and I got a ticket too
9. How do you define success?
Difficult thing to define but I think if people respect you, seek your opinion and look up to you then you are successful. It has nothing to do with wealth. If your children grow up to be productive citizens that too is the mark of a successful person.
10. What is the most disgusting thing you ever ate?
I don't know but it was an unidentified Chinese thing – disgusting. I ate it at a business dinner and couldn’t refuse it. No wonder I hate multi-cultural diversity (LOL)
11. Have you ever wet your pants? Be HONEST!
Not recently, but once I was in such a hurry that I didn’t get it all the way out in time and managed to wet my pants pretty good. I covered by saying that I splashed water on myself (LOL) (Now that I think about it -- I guess SIZE may have been a factor in association with haste).
12. Was losing your virginity an enjoyable experience?
No
13. Should oral sex be outlawed or encouraged?
I don't think it is anyone's business one way or another
14. Name one man with a fine ass.
Believe it or not, I racked my brain and I can't think of any man whose ass I noted as either good, bad, or indifferent. I’ve been in a lot of locker rooms and can’t think of one ass that I remember.
15. Do you watch golf on television? If not, will you iron my shirts?
No and No
16. Who is John Galt
Character in Atlas Shrugged (bet you thought I didn’t know)
17. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I think I'd lose some weight and about 20 years
18. Do you eat raw oysters?
No. Maybe that was what that disgusting Chinese thing was??
..
19. Are you claustrophobic?
Not especially.
20. If you rode a motorcycle, would you wear a helmet even if the law said you didn‘t have to?
I wouldn’t ride a motorcycle to begin with.
21. Name five great Presidents.
Washington, Lincoln, Truman, Reagan, and George W. Bush All conservative except for Truman who easily weighs in as number 3..
22. Name three really bad Presidents.
Clinton, Carter, and Harding but I'm revising my opinion of Clinton so maybe Grant should be substituted.
23. What was the dumbest thing you ever did?.
Aside from the rum and coke incident, I stood next to a shooting (geophysical) hole when they blew 250lbs of dynamite. The result was I was showered with mud, crud, and humiliation since I just proved a college education doesn’t make you smart. Everyone else took cover. It did mark me as human rather than the priggish college boy that people thought I was.
24. This is the 4th of July. Did you set off any fireworks?
Too hot – watched the neighbors
25. Are you successful or unsuccessful?
I have always considered myself a failure since I have never achieved my goals, but then some one calls me every day looking for insight, advice, or help. So I guess by some standards I am successful as a person even if I am not as an executive. But I guess I don’t think of myself as successful.
26 What do you consider the most boring activity?
Watching most sports on TV – in fact I am not much of a spectator so I guess watching life go by is boring. Too many people must be entertained rather than entertaining themselves. So I think passiveness is the most boring thing.
27 Do you have a “best friend”? Who is it?
Not really. I have been in a leadership position since I was 22. That has isolated me from almost all personal connections. My wife is my best friend today and at various times in my younger life I had close friends. Even today I keep in touch with my college friends and my roommate but I don’t think I have a “best male friend.”
28 Have you ever been naked outside in a public place? Where?
Apparently the Rum and Coke incident resulted in me being naked outside in a public place since my roommate and I later found our clothes by the river side several miles away. Obviously we came home naked as jay birds so I was outside in public naked as the day I was born. However, I had several opportunities to be naked outside in a public place while I was in the Army and I am not shy about being nude even though I don't parade around naked.
29 Who is the most interesting person you know? (Spouses don’t count)
I know several well known psychics and they are quite interesting. I also know a gay guy who used to work for me who is an absolute stitch and he is a great conversationalist. But I find almost everyone interesting.
30 If you could have dinner and conversation with anyone in the history of the planet, who would you choose?
That's a tough question but I think I would pick Jesus Christ, to get the real scoop, Tallyrand - for his wit and consummate political skills, Winston Churchill for his command of English and English History, Cicero for his insight into law and history, and Benjamin Franklin for his intelligence, wit, and charm.
Well there you have it -- my life in a nutshell. Sort of like everyone else's life. I discovered a long time ago that people are all pretty much alike. There are some evil people in the world but they are a small minority. Most people are good upstanding people whose lives are pretty much like mine.
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