Yesterday I had to drop off
prescriptions at the pharmacy and wait for them to be filled. So I
thought I would take advantage of this opportunity to have a coffee and donuts
while I waited. So I bought a (large) vanilla frosted donut and a
(also large) maple frosted donut that turned out to be a cinnamon roll and a
cup of coffee. Things were going as planned but when I sat down to enjoy
my treat things went off the rails. It seems unnoticed by me my vanilla
frosted donut had frosting all over the side I didn't see. So when I
reached in to my bag I immediately got frosting all over my hand. So I
quickly switched hands and began licking the frosting off of my fingers without
realizing I now had frosting on my other hand and the coffee cup (that little
paper sleeve you get from Starbucks). I tried eating from the over
frosted side only to get frosting all over my face so I looked like one of
those "Got Milk" advertisements gone bad. I managed to finish
the donut and licked my fingers more or less free of vanilla frosting.
Undaunted I retrieved my Maple donut and bit into it and discovered it
was cinnamon roll. But the frosting didn't seem to be adhering to the
roll. So as soon as I bit into it the frosting slipped over the side and
all over my fingers and hand -- I mean ALL OVER my hand -- all fingers and even
the back of my hand. This was an emergency so I tried eating it as
quickly as I could before the frosting completely covered my hand. As I
struggled with my coffee and this ongoing disaster I heard a soft "plop".
I looked down and OMG -- a huge glob of frosting had slithered off of my
roll and onto the floor between my feet. I sprung into action
throwing away what was left of the offending roll and taking those little wax
paper things that came with the donuts and tried wiping up this pile of
frosting -- only succeeding in making it larger without out actually picking it
up. HELLO -- why did you think they use wax paper with the donuts??
I did get a napkin from the cashier and more or less picked up the mess or
least reducing it to an invisible sticky spot waiting for the next unwary
customer. At this point I took the remainder of my coffee and retired to
the men's room to wash my frosting covered hands and face. Once I was
frosting free I picked up my coffee only to realize that little sleeve thingy
was covered in frosting. So I threw away the coffee and rewashed my
hands.
At this point I went back
to the pharmacy to pick up my pills -- which weren't ready. So I pulled my cell
phone out of my pocket to call Phyllis to tell her I would be late. OMG
-- the face of my cell phone is now covered in dry frosting. So I sprung into
action and began licking the face of my cell phone to free it of the
frosting. As I am engaged in this activity I notice this nice lady
sitting next to me staring at me. I stop momentarily and told her --
"I loaded a taste driven App and I am testing it".
To end this little saga those
little buggers gave me indigestion -- thus "the Revenge of the
Donuts". This may signal the end of my love affair with donuts.
